The Tea App: Everything You Need to Know About the Women-Only Dating Safety Platform

What is the Tea App?

The Tea Dating Advice app, launched in 2023 by San Francisco-based software developer Sean Cook, is a women-exclusive platform designed to help women vet potential dating partners and share safety information. The app's name derives from the popular slang phrase "spilling tea," which means sharing secrets or gossip. Rising to the #1 spot on Apple's App Store by July 2025, Tea has amassed over 4 million users.

Cook developed the app after witnessing his mother's "terrifying experiences" with online dating, including being catfished and unknowingly dating men with criminal records. The platform markets itself as providing "dating safety tools that protect women" and donates 10% of its profits to the National Domestic Violence Hotline.

How Men Are Excluded: The Gender Verification System

The app's exclusion of men is enforced through sophisticated verification technology. Tea uses artificial intelligence and facial recognition to ensure only women can access the platform. The verification process involves:

• Selfie Analysis: Users must submit selfie photos that are analyzed by AI to verify they appear feminine
• ID Verification: Originally, users were required to upload government-issued photo identification alongside their selfie for verification (though this requirement was later removed in 2023 for new users)
• SafeSip AI Moderation: The app employs automated technology to identify and eliminate potentially harmful content

This verification system creates what the company calls a "women-only space" where men simply cannot create accounts or access the platform's features. The facial analysis technology uses biometric data to determine gender identity based on appearance, though this has raised concerns about excluding transgender and non-binary individuals who may not have updated identification documents.

Core Features and Functionality

Tea offers several key safety tools for its verified female users:

Background Check Capabilities

• Criminal record searches through public databases
• Sex offender registry mapping
• Phone number lookups to identify "hidden marriages"
• Court document searches for legal histories

AI-Powered Safety Features

• Reverse image searching to identify catfishing attempts
• Catfish detection using uploaded dating profile screenshots
• Background verification of potential dates

Community Features

• Anonymous posting about dating experiences
• "Red flag" and "green flag" rating system for men
• Tea Party Group Chat for sharing advice and experiences
• Location-based discovery of men in users' areas

Major Security Breaches and Legal Consequences

The app's promise of security and anonymity was severely compromised by multiple data breaches in 2025:

First Data Breach (July 25, 2025)

• 72,000 images exposed, including 13,000 selfies and government ID photos used for verification
• 59,000 additional images from posts, comments, and direct messages
• Data was discovered by 4chan users who found an unsecured Firebase database
• Only affected users who registered before February 2024

Second Data Breach (July 28, 2025)

• 1.1 million private messages exposed
• Messages contained sensitive discussions about infidelity, health decisions including abortions, phone numbers, and meeting locations
• This breach affected messages from February 2023 through the week of the breach

Legal Repercussions

• Multiple class-action lawsuits filed alleging negligent data practices
• Illinois BIPA violations for collecting biometric data without proper written consent
• 10+ potential class action suits in federal and state courts
• Law firms actively investigating violations of California's CCPA, New York's SHIELD Act, and other privacy regulations

The Male Response: TeaOnHer

In response to Tea's popularity and gender restrictions, developers created TeaOnHer, a male-only counterpart app. This "gender-flipped" version allows men to anonymously review and rate women they've dated. However, TeaOnHer has faced its own significant issues:

• Security vulnerabilities exposing user data including driver's licenses and selfies
• Inappropriate content including non-consensual intimate images
• Lower user ratings (2.0 stars vs Tea's 4.6 stars)
• Removal concerns from app stores due to content moderation failures

Controversy and Criticism

Privacy and Legal Concerns

• Defamation risks for users posting unverified claims about men
• Doxxing potential as men's photos and identifying information can be shared without consent
• Lack of verification for claims made against individuals
• Copyright infringement when users share screenshots without permission

Gender Exclusion Issues

• Reinforcing the idea that men cannot be victims of abuse
• Excluding transgender individuals who may not have updated identification
• Creating potential discrimination against non-binary users

Societal Impact

• Discourage men from dating altogether due to fear of public accusations
• Create a "witch hunt" atmosphere rather than addressing systemic dating safety issues
• Reduce the dating pool for women by eliminating more men from consideration

Current Status and Future Outlook

• Suspended messaging features as a precautionary measure
• Engaged cybersecurity experts to secure systems
• Taken affected systems offline pending investigation
• Offered identity protection services to impacted users

The app continues operating but faces mounting legal challenges, with Sean Cook reporting his legal team receives "about three legal threats per day". Despite controversies, Tea maintains it provides a "public service" for women's safety.

The Bottom Line

The Tea app represents a digital evolution of traditional "whisper networks" that women have long used to share safety information about potential dating partners. While its women-only verification system effectively excludes men from accessing the platform, the app's security failures have exposed the very users it aimed to protect. The emergence of male counterparts like TeaOnHer, combined with ongoing legal challenges and privacy concerns, highlights the complex tensions between dating safety, privacy rights, and gender equity in the digital age.

For women seeking dating safety tools, experts recommend using established platforms with verified security measures rather than apps with questionable data protection practices. The Tea saga serves as a cautionary tale about the importance of robust cybersecurity in apps handling sensitive personal information.

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